Your relationship with your partner contains six emotional personas who act differently in certain situations. Today, we are going to uncovering them all.
Are you and your partner having the same fights over and over again? Do you consciously think that there isn’t a way to get rid of these problems, with the argument always turning out in a different way?
Fortunately, there is a way to save yourself a slack and be more intelligent about your marriage.
The Six People Present In Your Marriage/ Relationship
Obviously, I don’t mean there are six physical people living under your roof with you and your partner, but rather six personas, with six individual characters and unique perspectives on the things that unfold. We are listing them below:
- Person #1 – You when everything is going fine in your relationship.
- Person #2 – Your partner when everything is going fine in your relationship.
- Person #3 – Your perspective on your partner whenever he or she triggers you emotionally.
- Person #4 – Your partner’s perspective on you when you trigger him or her emotionally.
- Person #5 – Your perspective on you when you are emotionally triggered.
- Person #6 – Your partner’s perspective on him or her when they are emotionally triggered.
As you can see from the personas above, things may be simple to understand and, basically, there are 3 main situations unfolding that create these personas.
However, as much as the situations and characters look simple, they are very complex characters that like to complicate things, especially when something challenging takes place between you and your partner.
How To Control The Six Personas In Your Relationship
Whether it’s a feeling of anger, disappointment, misunderstanding or fault, some of these personas are triggered at all times.
The good news is that the game of blaming each other can be changed and a higher state of consciousness can be triggered. How?
Once you understand the hidden layers of your and your partner’s characters and identify the ones that are hurt, broken or confused, you will learn to heal them.
For example, if you understand what your feelings are towards your partner whenever something goes wrong, you can actually learn from the experiences, instead of panicking and overreacting.
Transforming your relationship into a safe emotional haven is the main purpose of identifying the six personas in your relationship.
In order to make this a lot easier to follow, we introduce you to Katy and Tom, a great couple who is in love and has been dating for about a year, however losing the sense of their relationship whenever a fight occurs.
Tom is a singer and he really likes composing songs. One night, he told Katy that he is planning to write a new song about his childhood, in collaboration with his friend Jack.
However, Katy is mad because Tom did not consult with her prior of making the decision, while Tom insists that it was Jack’s idea in the first place.
This created a mash-up of feelings and a lot of negative words were said, without accomplishing anything positive.
In order to understand the root cause of their fight, they should have looked at their personas.
For example, Katy (#1) got her negative emotions triggered by something she misinterpreted. She took the offense of her partner (#5) and her perspective reinforced a thought of fear that Tom did not value her advice (#3) on the subject.
As you can clearly see from this example, you can immediately identify the culprit if you know where to look for answers.
This behavior is, unfortunately, very common among couples and the disputes are started over virtually nothing, and without having a clear end goal.
It’s a waste of precious energy that builds up tension and damages the relationship in the long term, instead of using the same amount of energy to create harmony and build up a solid connection for the future.
Understanding the six personas and seeing things before they happen can be especially beneficial to a relationship and, practically, any misunderstanding can be resolved in a constructive, exploratory and even fun way.
A Final Word
In order to implement this technique in your relationship, you should take the lead and do your part to take ownership of your feelings to start with.
The rest will hopefully follow and when six people are fighting — let’s face it — you can easily point out to the ‘guilty’ one.